Barack, John and Paris (Hilton)

I think the French should use, in times of elections, what the Americans use a lot, namely campaign ads. Campaign ads are very problematic, of course. They are used to degrade the opponents more than address real issues; they are simplistic; they are often full of lies; but they can be so fun. The French electoral campaigns have reached the American level of emptiness anyway. Just like in the US, the last election opposing Sarkozy to Royal has been mainly about communication, empty promises, etc., etc. Only the fun is missing. In the last French campaign, we had Johnny Hallyday, Enrico Macias and Mireille Mathieu on stage. In the US, they have Paris Hilton. What is the difference between Mireille Mathieu and Paris Hilton? Well, as Paris herself says, she is "totally hot."

Recently, John McCain has released a campaign ad saying very little of himself and much of his opponent, Barack Obama. This ad put Barack in the same basket as Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. He is a mere celebrity, a "pipole," as we say in French. "But can he lead?" was the question asked by the ad. Barack hardly responded.

Paris did, with a campaign ad of her own.

And I have to say, I was, like, oh my gosh, totally shocked. I could not believe what I was watching. It was hilarious and smart. Of course, Paris did not write a line of what she is saying in her campaign ad, but she is actually good at saying it, and I think she totally, like, deserves an Oscar.

Here is a link where you can watch the video: www.funnyordie.com/videos/64ad536a6d
I highly recommend it. You will enjoy it much more than my telling about it.

In her video, apart from warning her voters that she might paint the White House pink, Paris solves the hot issue of the daym the energy crisis. This is what everybody talks about these days on this side of the Atlantic. Forgotten is the war in Iraq. The price of gas has dramatically increased, and that is much more important because my Hummer* needs a lot of gas.

So Congressmen, and everybody else, have recently debated about new offshore drilling. Some dare say that this would be only a short-term solution since the oil one would find would soon run short anyway and then the world would be left without gas to put in their Hummers because while offshore drilling would be pumping up all the remaining oil, no other solution to move the Hummers would have been looked for.
However, this kind of short-term pseudo-solution is exactly what the stuff of electoral campaign discourses is made of. So that's what the candidates and the media are talking about.

Others dare even say -- those are not running for presidency obviously -- that it is not even a short-term solution since the oil would not enter the supply for years and that voters are lied to when they are told they would get cheaper gas for their Hummers.

Barack first attempted to disapprove of offshore drilling. He suggested that Americans could save gas by properly inflating their tires. Everybody laughed at him. Well, it was a bit of a ridiculous solution. So now, he does not disapprove of offshore drilling that much. So now, everybody is okay with the idea of at least partial offshore drilling. Because it makes me feel better to know that I will have gas to put in my Hummer.

Recently, I drove across the plains of Oklahoma, the Texas Panhandle and the deserts of New Mexico. Well, I love the deserts of New Mexico, so let's leave them alone. But the plains of the Texas Panhandle, well, how shall I put it, they are not very exciting -- they are freaking boring, to tell you the truth, especially when you drive five hours on a road as straight as a new-con, and as your wife keep saying "oh, it's beautiful, you can see forever" --, they are very flat, very windy, very hot and very sunny. Well, all Americans should drive across the Texas Panhandle to realize how much of a waste all this space, wind and sun are. Cover the darn place with wind turbines and solar panels! The land will become useful, and a bit more exciting for the bored driver. The place is full of cows, for God's sake, they could even use cow paddies as combustible fuel. I already hear those who complain that the wind turbines are an eyesore. Go to the Panhandle, and you will wish for an eyesore that is not caused by desperately scrutinizing the horizon for any kind of landmark!
A rich oil man -- T. Boone Pickens -- has suggested the idea (the filling up the place with wind turbines idea, not the cow paddies one). There's hope.
On the other hand, the other day, a nice and smart average American young man, reacting to the incredible pollution over Beijing, was telling me that it does not make any sense that the US is the only country trying to protect the environment and reducing greenhouse gas effect emissions, when the rest of the world is not doing anything to help. I choked on my doughnut. There's hope, but let's remain lucid.

As I am writing these lines, my wife tells me of the latest breaking news. John Edwards -- former candidate from the Democratic party -- has just admitted having an affair in 2006. Ah! real issues are being addressed. Forgotten the people dying in Iraq, forgotten the energy crisis. Barack is saved from ridicule. Let's talk about Edwards' love affair. I hope it was with Hillary.

I promise you, dear reader, as soon as the campaign becomes interesting, I'll stop writing about it. I am guessing I'm gonna have a lot to write.

One more thing. From now on, everytime I post a text on my blog, I will prognosticate the winner. These days, I see Barack President.

Cheers.

*Note for the European Twingo-owner, a Hummer is a car bigger than your house, and driving it makes me feel powerful enough to invade your country.