Lovely Sarah!

After thorough investigation, this is what we know about Sarah Palin, 44, John's running mate.

She is from Alaska, which is very close to Russia, so that makes her an expert in dealing with the Russian invasion of Georgia (A Fox News commentator seriously argued that her being the Governor of Alaska makes her competent in foreign affairs).

"She is typically seen walking the Capital halls in black or red power suits while reading text messages on BlackBerry screens in each hand. She often reads and dexterously types responses without upsetting her stride, but she'll stop to greet tourists." (The Oklahoman, August 30, 2008)
Oh, that's great then, because it shows that... er... she can... you know, when she's Vice President... that'll give her the guts to... er... send a nasty email to Ahmadinejad while saying hello to the Saudi tourists visiting the White House? I guess...

After two years in office, she's one of the most popular governor, with an 80 percent approval rating in her state of Alaska (polar bears -- whom she wants to take off the list of endangered species -- not included).

Sarah, in fact, does have more experience than Barack, because she has occupied an executive branch position. So, in fact, she also has more experience than Joe Biden and John McCain himself.

She is pro-gun.

She is a hunter, but that has nothing to do with the fact that she wants to take polar bears off the list of endangered species, I'm sure.

She was a beauty-pageant queen, so I guess that makes her an expert at relations with Europe because she can talk to France's First Lady.

Sarah is an evangelical Christian.

"She'll be the only person on the ticket from either party that knows what it is like to be a mom" (Cheryl Williams, a GOP delegate).
Oh, so that's cool, because when she is at the White House, she'll be able to... er... well... I guess, she'll know how to change the President's diapers. I mean, he's very old, and I don't see any other reason why being a mom qualifies her to be Vice-President. Sorry, I'm trying to understand.

Sarah once had broken fingers, fishing with her husband (The Oklahoman, August 30, 2008).
Well, that's good because... ??????... er... well... okay, let my staff get back to you later, okay...

Sarah's last child has Down syndrome.

Sarah is "pro-life" (it really means that she does not want to allow woman to choose whether they keep their fetus or not).

Sarah opposes gay marriage, of course.

Sarah says that global warming is not man-made.

Sarah, finally, is a woman. So John thinks all American women are going to vote for her. She thinks so too. She praised Hillary for "leaving 18 million cracks in the highest, hardest glass-ceiling," the one blocking women to reach the higher levels of society -- a reference to the 18 million voters Hillary inspired -- and she declared "It turns out that the women in America aren't finished yet, and we can shatter the glass ceiling."

So, I guess, that's why she's on the ticket.