The young and the restless in St Paul

Political scientist Walter Bagehot once wrote about the spectacle of politics. He probably had in mind a higher form of artistic show in mind than the soap opera the Americans are being offered these days.

In our last episode, George, alone in his big white house in Washington, spoke to his former friends who were all partying in St Paul. They were all calling after him and acted happy to see him but George knew well they were pretending and kept talking over their cheers. He tried a few jokes -- John "is not afraid to tell you when he disagrees. Believe me, I know" -- but they kind of fell flat, and he looked so sad.

The thing is, George did not really want to talk because it was the last time he addressed his former friends, so he had to say farewell but he knew they would not miss him. Besides, he was supposed to say all the good things he thinks of John. But you see, he does not think many good things about John. In fact, he hates him. But hey, this was John's party, and he was invited, so he had to be polite. Besides, most of the other guests don't like John either, and they acted all excited.

George felt lucky, though, because Gustav had made his day. Yes, George was supposed to be present at the party the day before, and he was supposed to give a long speech. But Gustav decided to crash the party and wreak havoc and so George had to deal with that. So, he pretended to be mad at Gustav, but really, he was relieved. Just like his former friends who did not really want to see him in the first place.

In the meantime, Joe was wondering what he was doing here. He was wondering about that so much, and he wondered out loud in the microphone at some point: "What is a Democrat like me doing at the Republican convention like this?" That was so funny! You see, Joe had been invited to the party by his friend John. But the other guests hated Joe because he is not really part of the gang. But hey, he was invited and he had to be polite if he wanted to get a high position when John is president. Yes, you see, Joe had tried to be vice-president eight years ago with Al, and he almost won -- well actually he would have if George had not stolen the election -- and so he got bitter. Especially when his old friends did not ask him try again four years later. So, this year, he really hoped John, his new friend, would ask him to run with him. Unfortunately, just days before he was about to ask Joe to be his running buddy, John got drunk and saw a picture of Sarah in a fur bikini posing for Vanity Bear. And John looooves bikinis. His first wife was a bikini model, his second wife was a beauty queen. And so was Sarah. And John really loves this kind of woman. So he asked her out, leaving his pal Joe on the sidewalk. But Joe does not give up that easily. When John is president, he is sure he will ask him to be his Secretary of State or something.

So, Joe was polite. And he said he loves John, and that everybody should love John because he is the best, and Barack, the new best pal of his former friends, he sucks, he's young, he does not have experience, etc, etc. Man, Joe could not do better to be accepted by his new friends. Joe even said that thanks to John's perseverance in the Senate when Barack was advocating for the retreat of the troops in Iraq, "our troops are at last beginning to come home, not in failure, but in honor." I think Joe was afraid he would not be let in at the party and had started drinking before he got there. But that was not as funny, because really, the troops are dying in Iraq, and that's not honor, that's failure big time. But when he said that, the other guests, they clapped and cheered and screamed. I think they were completely drunk too. It was kind of sad.

In tonight's episode, Sarah will come to the party, if her teenage daughter is not too nauseated. Yes, you see, in a previous episode, Sarah's daughter got knocked up, and that was really bad because her mommy, she believes the kids should be taught abstinence only in school, instead of sexual education. Besides, Sarah wants to make her new friends believe she is pure and self-righteous and that she knows God personally, or something, so it's going to be kind of tough for her, but if she shows up in the proper sexy clothes, she will be fine.